so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
