Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
