Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
