"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
