We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
