its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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