there's paper in my vomit.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
