i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
