I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize