it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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