The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
