sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
