I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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