In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
they need to just BURY HIM!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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