also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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