The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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