He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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