I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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