of course. lets lasso hookers.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
