ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize