I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
