this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
