please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
