you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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