I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
