i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
