So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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