just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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