i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
