Yo dont text me then not text me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I forget how to act sober
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
