I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
