I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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