Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
