If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
