It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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