what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
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Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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