Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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