I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
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there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
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WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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