How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize