..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
