is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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