White coat. Heels.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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