I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize