I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
