ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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