I wish I could teleport
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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