I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
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Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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