if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
