I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
