..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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