ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
