She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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