Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
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The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't turn off my feet"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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