I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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