i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
